Well it has been a couple of weeks of inactivity but I am back. Fresh from an exciting stomach virus, I am once again able to ‘safely’ intake alcohol and perform all manner of experiments in the noble name of science.
However, with that being said, I yet had my heart broken the other day. I was doing the liquor order and I was obligated to order two bottles of Hpnotiq. I didn’t want to. I didn’t even think that I would need to, but, last Thursday my fears were confirmed as I saw the shots go out. Rounds of straight Hpnotiq. Not with Chandon, not with Hennessey, not as a part of any recipe painstakingly devised by Snoop Dogg or any other rapper. (It should be noted that I am, as earlier mentioned, a firm believer in time and place. It would be a lie to say that I didn’t own any of his albums. I am just trying to build a better drink than gin and juice. I don’t see myself trying to write a better song anytime soon. I am still a realist.)
So what should I do? I'm not turning away any customers. At the end of the day the person who orders a ‘Cosmo’ pays with the same currency as anyone who orders a Last Word or a Vieux Carré. “It all spends the same doesn’t it” *cringe. So, it seems that some deconstruction is required. Essentially, aside of the hip hop, the two main buzz words that Hpnotiq and Alizé seem to stress are Cognac and Passionfruit. Never mind that they both also contain vodka and I would guess that even in Hpnotiq which clocks in at only ten dollars less per bottle than a VS Cognac here in British Columbia, the vodka is still going to do the majority of the legwork to provide that seventeen percent alcohol that gets its drinkers “all ‘crunk’ an’ shit”. Therefore, I should be abe to create a shooter or shot with a very similar cost of goods using far superior ingredients.
I think that a Tiki shot is in order. One with lime hulls and flames and all kinds of crazy shit. Crazy good shit however.
Speaking of Tikis, sort of, Tales of the Cocktail is coming to Vancouver! I’ve got my tickets and frankly, I am reasonably excited. A couple of local bartenders will be staying at the recently renovated Waldorf hotel which I am excited to learn, has all the fun of a vintage tiki bar. I expect to consume all manner of cocktails drizzled with J. Wray & Nephew overproof and other potent potables. The event is spread over three days but the majority of the festivities will be on one rediculously condensed monday. All I can hope is that there is minimal wind on Tuesday because I don’t expect to be adequately prepared for a rocky trip on Tuesday morning.
So with a well planned itinerary, but yet having done nothing, I am off.
For science!
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