A Belated Report on Tales

So while I have so far been unsuccesful in finding any passion fruits, I am still alive which means a succesful return from Tales on Tour Vancouver.  I think that it would be fairly safe to say that a good time was had by all.  Unfortunately, due to procrastinating and piss-poor planning, I was unable to get a room at the Waldorf for the first night, however I did head over there for day two.  The tiki lounge was not very densely populated but I must say that the room was as kitschy as I had hoped.  And it was monday.  And I arrived several minutes before they opened for service.  However, the drink list was not exactly what I had hoped for.  By the time I arrived at the bar I had already consumed several Mai Tais and not seeing many other tiki drinks on the list, I opted for a Blood and Sand.  It had no vermouth.  Furthermore, their rum selection was not very extensive.  Not a huge deal, it was still cool and from what I understand, they are just getting back on their feet.

Concerning the actual Tales event, I do not have a single valid complaint.  Every drink I drank was delicious (there were enough that I could afford to bypass those with less than awesome reputations).  The seminars were fantastic.  I attended “Famous New Orleans Cocktails” with Chris McMillian and Philip Greene , “The History and Importance of Ice in Cocktails” with Charlotte Voisey and Jon Santer, and “Who’s your Daddy? a Mai Tai paternity test” with Jeff Berry.  A little bit of trivia concerning the last one, Mai Tai is not pronounced how you think.  It is actually pronounced ‘may tay’ being that according to Jeff “beachbum” Berry, it is a real Tahitian word for awesome.

Certainly one of the most visually awesome segments of the event involved a chainsaw a very large block of ice and ponchos for those seated in the ‘splash zone’.  Quite possibly the most badass ‘flair’ ever displayed in bartending.  Furthermore, the ‘badassness’ of the seminar was augmented with a sweet complimentary lewis bag and muddler for making crushed ice.  All in all I would say that the event was worth every penny.  I am pretty sure I drank the price of admission not to mention the schwag or ‘educational’ aspects.